Since Valentine's Day is upon us and I am a hormonal pregnant lady, I thought I'd take this time to reflect on my thoughts about "love." Right now, I feel completely filled to the top with love....from family, friends, my husband and most of all, my daughter. However, let's not forget the impending birth of Baby #2...where will I find enough love to spread to this new bundle of joy??? Do I have ANY MORE love to give??The books say, experienced people say, everyone TELLS me that "your heart just expands to accommodate for the new baby." And I believe it. But right now, as selfish as it seems, I can't imagine loving any thing as much as I love Brooke. Is this second kid going to get shafted and be "second" on my list?? Does the second/third/forth kid always get the shaft??
This question of "do I have enough love to give" has bothered me for a long time. In fact, last year I even told Scott I didn't think I wanted to have any more kids because I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love Brooke. I realize I probably said this right after she did something heart-melting like running up and hugging me for no reason and telling me "you're my best friend, mommy" or something annoying like that that 2-3 year olds love to do to get you to forget what a pain in the ass they will be in middle school.
Ah, but I guess there is no turning back now. Baby 2 is on the way and I will just have to wait and see how much my heart is open to expansion. Love, on on so many levels...why in the heck does it have to be so complicated?! :-) Happy Valentine's Day!!!! Love you all!! :-)
So, my mom always tells this story about how my pop was really worried when she got pregnant with my little brother that there was no possible way that he could have enough love to love my brother as much as he loved me. Apparently that feeling lasted until the day he was actually born and then it went flying out the window.
ReplyDeleteSomething tells me you'll be A-OK, with lots of love to go around.
Niki